“ I hear the drum beat.....beating.....beating….. calling me.....calling me......calling me home…….”
That morning, with the dew beginning to evaporate in the April sunshine, the boy came on his own to visit the Horse, standing under the large beech tree at the far end of the field. He climbed over the gate, walked across the muddy & waterlogged grass, his wellington boots squelching as she watched him arrive.
From the battered brown rucksack on his back, a medley of straps and pockets on a slightly rusty bent metal frame, he took out a large red blanket, a knife, some windfall apples for her, a cheese and tomato sandwich for himself and a flask of hot sweet milky tea, for it was a cold autumn afternoon and the story he was going to tell her could take some time.
He spread the blanket beneath the tree where the orange leaves made a dry carpet. Once the Horse had lain gracefully down on it, he began to cut the apple into pieces, feeding her one piece at a time, stroking her soft brown head as it lay on his lap. Between mouthfuls of sandwich & sips of tea he told her more of the story of Christina, Gala & the Bear.
“ It was late the following morning that Christina left Gala the shaman’s house. The snow & ice that she had travelled through the day before were beginning to thaw. A process that had started in the night as the cold grip of the Siberian winter began to loosen and the first moments of Spring were arriving. The sun was already high in the sky, the snow was melting fast in the warm wind from the West that rattled the dripping icicles on the branches of the trees, making strange music as they glistened in its rays.
Beside her was the dog called Stranger that Gala had given her as a gift as she was about to leave. Insisting in spite of her protestations that the dog should go with her.
“ See him as an indefinite loan. Stranger will know when he has been with you long enough and will find his way back to me. Wherever we are.”
Her body felt remarkably light, her mind clear & her spirit strong. After her experiences in Gala’s house the previous night, one she would never forget as long as she lived, she had expected to be exhausted. But the thought of the journey home and what lay ahead of her when she got there did not fill her with anxiety or foreboding, instead she had a sense of expectation, excitement & clear possibilities in her life.
Stranger walked a little way ahead, padding through the wet snow & occasionally running for a brief detour into the thick woods that grew on either side of the path. Larch, spruce, birch & pine, with a momentary examinations of the bark or to sniff some of the earth that the rapid thaw was exposing. As they moved together she reflected on the events of the night that had passed.
On her arrival at Gala’s home it had taken a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the different lighting inside the shaman’s cottage after the bright sunlight dazzling off the snow outside. The downstairs consisted of one single large room with a huge fireplace at the far end in front of which lay two more dogs. The flames from the blazing fire lit up the room. She could see many bundles of dried herbs and flowers hanging from the low beams that ran across the space. There was a long single window down one side of the room with a view into the shaman’s garden that contained trees, bushes and plant beds covered in snow . There was a strong smell of sage & other herbs that filled the room. To the right of the fireplace was a narrow wooden staircase and carved banister rail that she assumed led to the next floor.
The two dogs were also a variety of large husky. One pure black and the other with a white coat flecked with silver grey patches that glistened in the light from the fire. The dog that had been outside the cottage with Gala when Christina first arrived joined the other 2, yawned, lay down, rolled over & stretched out in front of the fire. Then the white dog began to growl at Christina as the shaman steered her gently across the room, the floor covered in a variety of rugs and some animal skins which she could not immediately identify.
“One moment” the shaman said. She bent down and began to gently stroke the dog;s head, talking to it in a language that Christina had never heard before.
“ Sharqa, sharqa, vesaraqa savara savara mastada”
In a low soothing rhythmic voice like the whispering of the wind across the ice.
The dog gradually stopped growling, looking into Christina’s eyes across the space between them. It got to its feet and moved quickly towards her. She felt a moment of fear but the animal stopped beside her, began gently to lick the fingers of her right hand paying particular attention to her engagement and wedding rings.
“ He knows why you’re here and will be your friend if you so wish. But that’s for later. Right now we have much work to do together. Please sit down and make yourself at home. You may not have known it until now but you belong here. This is exactly the right time for you to have come to see me ”
She gestured to a stool by the fire. Christina sat down realising that, apart from the moment of fear when the dog had approached her, she felt completely relaxed & familiar with this place from the moment she had arrived.
As Christina sat on the low stool covered with tapestry and softly padded to make it easy and comfortable to sit on, the shaman crossed the room to the window and closed the 2 curtains made from what appeared to be dark blue velvet. She walked back to the fire and began stirring a steaming pot that hung over it .”
The boy stopped talking and took a deep draught of tea from the red flask. He sat for a moment looking up into the bare branches of the tree, humming a tune that the Horse recognised. Coltrane Blue she thought it was called. It was a tune that Slinger had often whistled, particularly when they were walking together or he was riding on her back and something had unsettled him. The boy fed her another chunk of apple and continued his story.
“ “ Do you trust me” she asked Christina
“ I don't really know. I mean I've only just met you and….”
“Yes. But that is your mind telling you. Close your eyes for a moment”
Christina felt a sense of relief, that it was good to trust her. She closed her eyes.
‘Listen to your heartbeat. What you feel……what you can see in there…..”
She realised that her heart was beating slower than usual, there was a warmth emanating from the centre of her chest accompanied by what she later described to her brother as a gentle flow of warm colours…reds, yellows, oranges…..travelling out into the whole of her body.
She was about to describe what she was seeing and feeling when Gala spoke again.
"Don't say anything. Just nod if you trust me. Unless you do then I can't help you”
Christina hesitated for a moment and then moved her head up & down.
“Good. Now some of what I’m going to ask you to do may feel strange but it’s essential that you do exactly as I ask. Do you understand?”
Christina nodded again, aware that her body felt more at ease than it had for months or even years. The warm colours were now filling the muscles & bones of her physical self.
“You are starting to enter a deep state of relaxation thanks to the herbs I have been burning. In a moment I will give you a cup of warm liquid. Please drink it all. Once you have drunk it I will help you to remove your boots, all your clothes and to lie down on the furs in front of the fire. I will cover you with more . Do you understand?”
Christina nodded. None of this disconcerted her. None of what Gala was asking her to do seemed strange or unusual. She felt a sense of complete surrender.
“Good. Whatever happens to you after you have taken the drink and when you are lying down believe me that it is as real as your walk here through the forest. One more thing. This is important and I will remind you of it later. Once you are lying down I will start to drum.”
Christina had seen a large round frame drum hanging to one side of the fireplace. She had only glanced at it for a few moments, long enough to see that the skin was covered in beautifully painted symbols & depictions of animals in bright primary colours.
“ The drumbeat is there to hold you, guide you and bring you back to me. Keep it in your consciousness. When the beat changes you’ll know that wherever you are & whatever is happening to you, it is time to return. Keep your eyes closed and drink this”
Christina felt a rough wooden mug being gently but firmly placed in her cupped hands as she sat, her eyes closed, feeling the warmth of the fire on her face.
“ Drink it. Now”
She put the mug to her lips. Felt its texture clear and strong in her hands. The liquid it contained smelt of summer meadows. She began to drink it. It was warm with a sweetness she’d never experienced before masking an almost overpowering pungent and acrid under taste. She stopped drinking for a moment.
“ Christina. You must drink it all before you can fully taste it. Do as I ask.”
The shaman’s voice was strong and persuasive. So Christina swallowed the last few mouthfuls and felt the cup being taken out of her hands.
Without another word between them the shaman helped her to take off her boots, her coat and the rest of her clothes until she was naked. As this was happening, as the clothes were of their own will effortlessly leaving her body, she became aware of the colours in her bones, heart, brain & every cell of her body growing in intensity. Lying down on the soft warm furs that murmured to her skin & caressed her with Gala laying more gentle soothing tender furs around and over her form fitting perfectly around the shape of her physical self while somewhere outside her body but also in the core of her being a drum a deep resonant throb of ancient rhythm began to beat and sing its endless song.
Through the rhythm of the drum she heard the shaman’s voice.
“Remember to hold the drumbeat in your mind & body. When you sense it changing it is time to come back to me”
The sweet pungent bitterness of the drink that she could still taste on her tongue and in the back of her throat was something wonderful she felt with all her senses. A part of her that had been missing all her life and now was so familiar”
The boy stopped speaking for a moment .
The Horse turned her head to look right at him.
“ But you know the story already, I’m just reminding you.”
The Horse, who had spent the last few decades on her own in this field, while armies, roads, railways, airports, new towns with shopping malls and industrial estates had somehow bypassed the valley with its acres of meadows, woodland and river, hearing only the voices of the two children and before them their parents, the only human contact she had recently known, experienced sensations she had almost forgotten. A part of her brain, her very being, long dormant & unused began to catch fire again.
As she said to Slinger, Red & Dorothy some time later while they sat drinking tea & eating beans on toast with fried egg, sausages mushrooms & tomatoes in the café near Kings Cross station.
“ Like waking up from a dreamless sleep…….no not even that…..like seeing the daylight after watching the shadows on the wall in Plato’s cave”
To which Slinger had replied “ I've always been fascinated by what he meant. Which of the shadows are the real world, where are they being cast from, what do we see when we look out of the cave and…..you get my drift…”
The boy stood up and laid both his hands on the Horse’s neck just behind her soft brown ears & Christina’s voice with the pictures and sounds began.
“ I have two bodies now. One of shimmering primal light enclosed in the flesh and bones of this physical self between the layers of skin, the heat of the fire, the sound of the drum, Gala’s voice singing words in a language I do not know but that will call me back as my energy body steps through the furs to stand looking down on the shape of my other self lit by the flickering fire light, Gala holding the drum on her right side beating it with a long carved drum stick in a regular rapid rhythm with her eyes so green how could I not have noticed that before, her eyes so green looking at me standing shining in front of her, smiling at me with a slight inclination of the head so I know that she sees me.
I laugh with pleasure at the power, delight, energy of my new ancient body with a sound that comes out as ripples of blue green gold light. I want to fly through the cottage roof, out into the night sky so I turn from the fireplace to see that the room is now vast.
A long wide white corridor of perfect large interlocking stones with a high vaulted ceiling. I look down at myself to see that I am naked apart from the red richly embroidered waistcoat that I had always worn in my dreams of the bear on the ice. It seem even more vibrant and colourful with it’s symbols & jewelled embroidery shining with an inner light. Suns, stars, moons, trees, flowers, birds & butterflies......
As I walk I’m joined by the white husky, ripples of colour spreading around us, remembering, as I had always known, how to take the right steps in preparation for flight, my knees bending, my feet planted firmly with every step, my spine connected to all parts of my body, all parts of my body connected through my spine, the dog matching my every move as her perfect form shines with white light, until we are moving smoothly down the slight slope of the vast stone cavernous space gaining speed, spreading my arms, connected with rich blue and green translucent filaments to the side of my torso then easily flying up towards the roof above, patterned with a variety of changing perfectly symmetrical geometric shapes that reflect the colours of our bodies. As I draw nearer to the ceiling, gathering speed all the time, the shapes begin to move apart, through the growing gaps I can see the dark night sky scattered with thousands of luminous stars……”
The boy moved his hands from behind the Horse’s head. Stroked her mane with long slow movements for a few minutes & then continued speaking.
“These words had come later, weeks afterwards when she was in Moscow lying on the hotel bed with Stranger beside her, about to fall asleep and she was there again, flying across the night sky, driven by the sound of the drum. Her body luminous gold energy with no separation between it and the great land mass of Russia spread out below. Forests, lakes, rivers, fields, snow, villages and cities with bright points of light of every colour that were the creatures living, breathing, moving across this vast space.
A symphony, a cacophony of sounds as she had never heard before mixed with sensations, shapes, pigments while alongside her moving effortlessly across the night sky the white husky flying on huge black wings beating from out her back.
They began to descend towards an area of frozen sea, tundra and icebergs.
The glow of their energy bodies illuminating it. Waiting for them on the icy wasteland was the bear. His arms spread wide in welcome, his fur burning with blue sparkles. She knew that he was no threat to her, that all those times he had followed her across the ice in her dreams he had only wanted to embrace her, to enfold her in his power, to give her courage, determination, the possibility of freeing herself from the oppression of her life with her husband.
After he had embraced her long & gently in his vibrant arms he turned her so she could see that the frozen sea was covered in a multitude of animals and birds dancing to the music of the land, of the ice, the snow, the wind, the waves with the full moon rising from behind a great iceberg framing the wild celebration all held by the rhythm of the shaman’s drum.
Deer….elk….mice…rabbits…gulls….petrels….sea eagles…hawks….puffins….wolves…bears….foxes…butterflies…bees…hornets…spiders…ants….wild cats…badgers…beavers…otters....kingfishers..swans.....geese.....swallows.....muskox.....mink...... wolverines.....hares ..squirrels….crows….ravens….toads….frogs…newts.....snakes…moving together across the ice, effortlessly combining and parting on land, through the air, into the frozen water, patterns that shaped and dissolved in an endless variety of space and forms.
She knew this was for her. To celebrate how strong and connected she was with the forces of this land, the fundamental powers of nature.
She was dancing with the bear & with Stranger. Her waistcoat reflecting the colours of the ice, the night sky & the creatures around her. More than just dancing. She was the dance. She was all of those bodies moving together as one for all time in that place until the rhythms, shapes, patterns, distances, closeness, separation merged with her body, drawn into the fragments, the core of her spirit.
Suddenly there was only her, the bear and the winged dog on the ice as the rhythm of the drum changed.
Long slow deep single beats pulsing through her. Calling her back.
Knowing it was time to leave. Turning to the bear, his eyes radiant blue and deep as the ice cold sea.
He embraced her and whispered in her ear in a soft tender voice
“Next time we meet you may not recognise me but we will know each other”
She was lifted up and away by the insistent beat of the drum, by the strength of her dog companion. His black wings carrying both of them as her body lay across his white furred back.
Exhausted now by the eternity of the dance as, in what seemed to her just a moment, she had left the ice far behind and was lying wrapped in furs by the shaman’s fire falling into a deep dark red sleep to the echoes of the frame drum.
In the morning she had woken in a large bed, her clothes neatly folded on the end of it. The window at the other end of the room had a view of the forest with the mountains behind.
Vague memories of waking in the night to feel the naked body of Gala holding her, her hands gently stroking Christina’s hair, whispering soothing words as tears & wails of vast grief flowed out of her.
“You will be well….you will be strong…you will have your own life…..there are no limits…..there are no limits….”
She had dressed, opened the door that led onto a wide wooden staircase leading down to the single large room below where she had begun her journey out into the night.
Gala was cooking porridge over the fire. It smelt delicious.
“You have slept long and deep. That’s good. Here. Eat this. Barley cooked slowly with fruit”
She put the porridge in a large wooden bowl, poured on yogurt, honey and sprinkled nuts on top. She passed it to Christina with a bone spoon with an intricate scene of naked dancers carved into it.
Christina sat down in the armchair by the fire blazing with logs. Realising that she was extremely hungry she began to spoon the food into her mouth. It smelt and tasted wonderful. A rich variety of aromas, textures that nourished & woke her immediately, as she ate Gala spoke to her.
“Whatever happened to you last night you should know that it was real. It happened. More real perhaps than what you think of as your daily life. That too is extraordinary. Though you may not be able to fly, pass through solid objects, talk with other animals, meet with beings from other worlds. But what we shamans call the middle world, is also amazing. It is intimately connected to those other worlds, one of which, the world that we call the lower world, you visited last night”
“But I seemed to fly up and out and beyond this world”
“I know. We call it the lower world because we often travel down through the roots of a tree or the entrance of a cave, but we can arrive there in many different ways. You chose to fly there.”
“Will I remember what happened to me? I have a fading memory of something so powerful and different unlike anything else that has happened in my life”
“Maybe. I am sure this is not the first time you have travelled there. Your memories of your journeys to the lower world and other realities will be there. Somewhere in you. Like all the dreams you’ve ever dreamed. Was the food tasty?”
“Yes thank you. Delicious. But…”
Gala held up her hand.
“ Here. Take the spoon you’ve been eating with. Put it in your pocket. It may be useful”
Gala wiped the spoon clean and passed it to Christina. She knew by now that the shaman’s suggestions were not usefully questioned. So she took the intricately carved spoon and slipped it into the wide pocket of her skirt.
“No more questions for the moment. It is time for you to return to your life. To do what you know has to be done in your relationship with the man you live with that you call your……husband”
Gala almost spat out the word.
Only then, as she said the word, did Christina remember something else that had happened on her flight back to the cottage carried on the back of the winged dog, who now lay fast asleep with the other two huskies in front of the fire.
They had flown by the window of a large hotel. She knew it was in Moscow. The Nikolskaya Hotel. A huge rococo stone and brick building with domes and turrets. Through one of the many windows she had seen into a luxurious room with a large bed, exotic furnishings, erotic paintings of men & women in various positions of love making on the walls. On the bed was her husband. He was completely naked and lying with a woman who was also naked. She had short blonde hair . She was beautiful, almost unbelievably so.
Christina & Stranger floated in front of the window. She watched the woman with her husband and was sure that they had just been making love. They were talking together, laughing gently as the woman slowly stroked his shaven head. She knew it was her husband, behaving in a way she didn’t recognise, a different person to the man she knew.
He was lying on his side so that she could only see the side of his face but she was certain it was him. The woman, who was lying on her back, cradling him in her arms turned slightly and looked out of the window straight at Christina. Light blue eyes of dazzling intensity. She smiled at her. An expression of frankness, transparent in its honesty. The woman mouthed some words in Russian
“Vse budet khorosho. Ya znayu. Deystvitel'no. Vse budet khorosho. It will be OK. I know. Really. It will be OK”
Then she turned back to Gregor. She continued stroking his head, his neck, his shoulders, kissing him on the lips. Christina knew that they were about to make love again. A fascination, an arousal in her body urged her to stay and watch. Even fly in through the window and surprise him or join in with them, kiss the beautiful blonde woman on her lips and……
But the winged dog carried her up and away from the hotel and the city of Moscow as they continued their journey back to the shaman’s fire place.
“I saw him. My husband. Gregor. He was with a woman. A beautiful extraordinary looking woman….she saw me, she spoke to me, she…..”
“I know. Her name is Yvette Bleu. Or at least that is one of her names”
“Why are they together? My husband is such a …..I hate him”
“Perhaps. To you he may be oppressive, disrespectful, abusive….but all of us are capable of love and affection. He is a totally different human being when he is with her. Though she is not quite human herself”
“What do you mean. Not quite human. She looked like a high class prostitute to me.”
Gala laughed. An easy deep sound that came from her belly.
“She may be many things but that she certainly is not. You will meet her soon and when you do…..”
“Meet her. How?”
“Enough questions for now Christina”
She touched Christina lightly on the arm.
“It is time for you to go home”
She paused for a moment and looked straight into her eyes.
“You trusted me last night and now I’m asking you to trust me some more. Will you?”
Christina could feel herself drawn into the shaman’s gaze.
She nodded her head.
“Thank you. I want you to leave here shortly without saying another word. I also want you to wear this necklace that I will give you. I would ask you to never take it off. You will hardly even notice that you’re wearing it”
Gala reached into the pocket of her jacket made of beautifully woven blue and green threads with touches of gold running through it that glistened in the morning light streaming through the large window down one side of the lounge.
She took out a leather thong. Attached to it was a single thin piece of curved metal a few inches long in the shape of a spiral. She held it close to Christina’s face. She saw that the surface of the metal brightly reflected the daylight. It had a depth and a translucence that drew her in to where it contained ever changing colours, forms and shapes giving it the appearance of being vaster than its actual size. Before she’d had a chance to examine it in more detail Gala took it away from her, walked round behind her, moved Christina’s long hair to one side and quickly tied the thong round her neck so that the amulet hung loosely just above the valley of her breasts.
‘What….”
“No more words. You will know how to use this piece of jewellery when you have to. Please do not take it off.....ever. Come now, put your coat and boots on. It’s time for you to go”
In a few minutes they were both standing by the open door of Gala’s cottage, looking down the path leading into the forest. Stranger the dog that Gala had insisted accompany her stood next to her.
“Last night your life changed forever but the path before you will not be easy. I am sure you will find the power, strength and allies that you will need. Stranger will protect you when he can and the jewellery I have given you…..but enough words”
She put her arms round Christina and held her close for a few moments so that she remembered the embrace that the bear had held her in on the ice.
Then the moment passed. She and Stranger walked out from the cottage. Behind her she heard the door close but didn’t turn round. Together they set off into the forest”
“Now it’s time for me to go as well” said the boy.
“ You can come with me if you like”
The Horse stood up quickly off the blanket. She shook herself then turned to the boy and spoke. For the first time for many years so the words felt strange in her mouth.
"Yes. I will come with you. It's what I must do now. Will you ride on my back?"
"If that's fine with you"
"No problem"
The boy packed the remains of their meal and the blanket in the rucksack, took a few steps away from her then easily ran towards her, leapt onto her back and gently took hold of her mane.
"Is that OK?" he asked
"Feels comfortable and almost familiar. Let's go."
She threw back her head, whinnied loudly once, then began to trot down the field towards the gate.
Camera pulls out fast from close up of boys hands on the mane to a long shot of them travelling across the field as she breaks into a gallop & easily clears the gate.
Cut to high arial shot as they disappear down the track that leads into the wood beyond..
Pan back round 180 degrees to long shot of empty field.
Slow zoom into the tree.
Hold still shot for a few seconds.
Slow dissolve to black into the branches..